


written exposure (we can do it easy)

by adeleblaircassiedanser



Category: Veep
Genre: Communication, Emotional Constipation, Epistolary, Established Relationship, Future Fic, Love Languages, M/M, Schmoop, no porn? who am i, such as it is, tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 06:38:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6970225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adeleblaircassiedanser/pseuds/adeleblaircassiedanser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based mostly off a tweet by @priya_ebooks, which I came across in a Hamilton post and appropriated.</p>
<p>*nudges boyfriend awake at 4 AM*<br/>me: do you like me<br/>Boyfriend: mrrnrh<br/>me: LIKE like or just regular like<br/>Boyfriend: *puts pillow over head*</p>
            </blockquote>





	written exposure (we can do it easy)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rillrill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rillrill/gifts).
  * Inspired by [tweet](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/200344) by @priya_ebooks. 



> This was for the song prompt @rillrill gave me: "so fly" by childish gambino. The title is a technical term about insurance because I couldn't resist, even though this is very obviously not Insurance!verse compliant. I guess it might be far-in-the-future Radioactive verse but idk yet. This is the second basically angst-free thing I've written today and let me tell you it feels fuckin weird.

It’s a lazy Sunday. Dan’s laying on his bed reading _Flash Boys_ when he hears the front door close and the clatter of a bunch of unknown objects falling on his apartment floor, signalling that Jonah is home from whatever errands he’d been running.

 

“Hey,” Jonah says as he comes into the bedroom.

 

“Hey,” Dan says, and accepts a kiss hello. Jonah slams a couple of drawers open, pulling out sweatpants and a shirt to change into. You can tell Jonah was an only child by how _fucking loud_ he is all the time, even doing the most basic tasks.

 

“I’m reading right now,” he warns as Jonah clambers over to the bed and flops down on it.

 

“I know,” Jonah says as he scooches backward until his head is laying on Dan’s middle.

 

“ _Jonah_.” Jonah attempts an innocent look.

 

“No, I know, I’m just gonna lay here. I’ll be quiet,” he says. Dan is not hopeful about the prospect, but he allows it anyway, angling the book off to his left so it’s not totally in Jonah’s face. When he’s lying like this, his long legs are hanging completely off the bed. _Ridiculous,_ Dan thinks.

 

After about a chapter and a half’s worth of reading, during which Jonah has been intermittently playing on his phone but mostly just _staring_ at him, the inevitable happens.

 

“Dan?”

 

“Yeah?” For the past three to six minutes Dan has been deliberating on whether _what are you looking at_ sounds like the kind of question a paranoid person would ask. Theoretically, the new meds are supposed to be helping with that, but the jury is decidedly still out.

 

Anyway, Dan’s relieved that Jonah broke first, at least until he hears what he has to say.

 

“Do you like me?”

 

_And there it is._ Jonah is always like this, just blurting out the first thing he’s thinking, no matter what it might be or who might be listening. Dan’s shoulders sort of seize up involuntarily. He frowns down at Jonah.

 

“What? What is this about?” Jonah shrugs.

 

“It’s not ‘about’ anything. I’m just wondering.” Dan raises an eyebrow. “Seriously, dude, it’s not, like, a trap. The room’s not bugged. Simple question.”

 

Jonah swings his legs up onto the bed and flips around so he’s facing Dan. “I’m not gonna get mad,” he says. “I’m just curious.”

 

Dan grimaces. “I mean, what do you think?”

 

Jonah makes a face. His mouth really is enormous. “Honestly? I set the over/under at, like-”

 

Dan holds up a hand. “I’m gonna stop you right there. I know you don’t know how over/unders work.”

 

“Fine. I mean, are we talking _during_ sex? Or like, in the middle of a random Tuesday?”

 

Dan looks at the ceiling.

 

“I mean, I think you like me less right now than you did half an hour ago,” Jonah says. Dan tries not to laugh.

 

“Has anybody ever told you you’re really fucking stupid?”

 

“Fuck you.” Dan grabs the front of Jonah’s stupid Washington Spirit t-shirt and drags him in close.

 

“Okay,” he says into Jonah’s massive mouth, and kisses him.

 

“For the record,” Jonah says as they peel their clothes off, “I totally know that you’re using sex to distract me because you’re allergic to having a conversation.”

 

“And yet.”

 

-

 

Jonah passes out afterwards. Dan tries to get back to reading, but he can’t stop turning the thoughts over in his mind. To him, it feels and has felt for the past however long that he’s walking through his life with a giant flashing neon sign above his head that reads THIS IS MY WEAK SPOT with a helpful arrow pointing towards this… Dan grasps for the word.

 

_Series of decisions_ , he decides finally. He has made a series of decisions which have rendered him more completely exposed than he’s ever been.

 

-

 

A week later, he’s on a plane out to California for a couple of weeks, and after his customary pre-flight anti-anxiety medication routine and a couple nips of vodka, he thinks about it again. He’s unsure why the conversation is still bothering him so much, but it’s just so _ridiculous_ . _Do you like me, you wanna ask, lying on top of me in my bed, in my house-_ Dan pulls out his laptop from under the seat in front of him and opens up an email draft.

 

 

> FROM: [ dcegan2036@gmail.com ](mailto:dcegan2036@gmail.com)
> 
> SENT: Monday, April 15, 2020 10:19 PM CST
> 
> TO: [ jdiddy87@gmail.com ](mailto:jdiddy87@gmail.com)
> 
> SUBJECT: you’re a fucking moron
> 
>  
> 
> Dear Cloud Botherer*,
> 
>  
> 
> You are such a monumental dumbass that I just paid seven U.S. dollars to get wifi on this plane so I can write this. Now, I know that you spend most of your life saying and doing fuckheaded shit, so allow me to be specific. One day last week, apropos of absolutely deadass nothing, you asked me- and I quote- _if I liked you._
> 
>  
> 
> Do they not teach critical thinking in Hanover? Just to list a few points, in no particular order:
> 
>  
> 
>   * I routinely let you stay in my house. You sleep over at my house more than once a week, on average. I trust you enough to leave you in my house when I’m not there.
>     * Subpoint: YOU HAVE A KEY TO MY FUCKING HOUSE.
>   * Try and remember the last time we went 24 hours without some form of communication.
>   * Do you think I would let someone I didn’t like
>     * Tie me up
>     * Tell me whether or not I was allowed to come
>     * Tell me what to do, about anything, period
>     * Do that thing we did last October in Montreal
>     * Leave marks on me
>     * Use my $40 shampoo**
>     * Play songs in my car which were recorded by bands with no name and an accompanying paucity of musical talent
>     * For that matter, you have awful taste in everything
>       * I saw a Michael Bay movie in theaters in the year 2018. _Michael Bay._
>       * I have now eaten Taco Bell _twice._
>   * Anyway, this is the longest I’ve ever kept sleeping with the same person without them getting me a better job.
>   * I’m not lying to you about anything major/that would be a dealbreaker for you (at least not that I can think of). That’s a first.
>   * I know you’re going to be insufferable about this but this is the best sex of my life.
>     * It’s honestly not even close
>   * Do you remember that one time in Chicago when my Ativan script had run out and you talked me down from a panic attack?
> 

> 
>  
> 
> In conclusion, please shut the fuck up. Thank you and goodnight.
> 
> Best regards,
> 
>  
> 
> Dan
> 
>  
> 
> *I selected this vintage nickname because I’m literally ABOVE THE CLOUDS and somehow still being bothered by some shit you said.
> 
> **And this after you told me you didn’t really “believe in shampoo” and that Irish Spring would do “basically the same thing.”
> 
>  

\----

 

Dan wakes up 20 minutes before landing to the flight attendant instructing him to stow away his laptop and put up the seat table. He blinks blearily at the screen and sort of regrets sending it. On his way to baggage claim, though, his phone goes off.

 

From: Jonah 12:26:03 AM PST

Cool email but its a yes or no question

To: Jonah 12:26:37 AM PST

Yes.

 

Dan resists the urge to chuck his phone in the nearest trash can and go off the grid.

 

\---

 

For his part, Jonah takes screenshots of the text conversation and email both and saves copies to his external hard drive, Dropbox and Google Drive just to be safe.


End file.
